You Never Know What He'll Say (or Do)

One day, on the way home from school, Noah was explaining to John about when it is okay to potty standing up. (I make them sit at home and at other people's homes.) Noah told him you can peepee standing up if you have a urinal at home.

When John wakes up he yells, "Open the doooooooorrrrrr..." (If only you could hear it... He trails off as he yells. It's quite funny!)

When we have overnight guests, Noah sleeps in John's room with him and the guests stay in Noah's room. One night we heard this constant chatter from John. He was asking Noah repeatedly if he wanted to be a pirate... Noah was fast asleep. John had no idea.

Noah was swinging John around and kind of pushing him. John fell down... A rock which he had in his pocket went flying out of his pocket. Noah quickly said "I was helping him get his rock out of his pocket." (You have to wake up early in the morning to keep up with that one...)

When John first potty trained, he would poop in his undies every...single...day...at least once... One day, I put him on the toilet and told him to stay there until he pooped. He did! I gave him a sucker as a reward. He was sitting at the table eating it and promptly pooped in his pants. 

Me: "Noah why don't you like raisins anymore?" 
Noah: "Well mom, that's just how God made me."

Hunter spit up on the floor, bent over, and licked it... Must have been something good...

Noah: Skin milk makes you get more skin.

We were on the way to a birthday party. We pulled into dry cleaners on the way. John said, very matter-of-factly... "This is not the birthday party."

Greg and Noah were in the car together on a hilly, curvy road. Noah said, "Is this allowed?" Greg asked "By who?" Noah replied, "The police." (I thought for sure he would have said mommy... Although sometimes I feel like the police.)

Greg always says John operates at maximum pressure. Whenever he bends over, you poke him, any kind of a squeeze, he tooties. (He will love that I wrote this one day!)

I had John at the doctor for his 3 year checkup. She was using her stethoscope to check his reflexes. He looked at her, frowned, and said, "Hey! Don't hit me!"